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woman starts facebook account; middle school crush

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     Some would say that he peaked in high school, but honestly he hasn't even reached his prime yet. He's had a string of meaningless relationships but that wasn't on him. Hell, one of those relationships resulted in a kid that he sees occasionally. If anything that made him more desirable.. right? Women love kids. Not to mention the "dad bod". That was something he's perfected over the years.       He had just been going about his day when facebook suggested her . He hadn't seen her in well over a decade but there was a time in middle school when she had the biggest crush on him. The poor girl probably thought she hid it well.. she really didn't. She was just a dork who had a few mutual friends. Regardless of the weirdo she once was, her profile said she was single and that was enough for him.      "You know what" he thought to himself, "maybe it's time to make her day and try her on for size." He sent her a friend request.  -...
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woman starts facebook account; little fat butt man

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"This always works" he thought to himself, "why isn't she replying?"  To say he was disappointed would be selling it short. He knew better than to show her any respect.. that's the exact opposite way to win a woman's affections. "Alright, I'll pull out the big guns" he thought out loud. He picked up his phone again and typed a measly and quick apology. After all, there is no woman who doesn't love a meaningless apology.  "Are you sorry?" she asked. He didn't even care to lie a second time.  Brushing past it, he typed back to her "Is it fat though? That's my weakness, lol". He put down his phone while he paced the room. She replied so he knew he had her hooked this time. He just had to know. Now that she knew he cared only for her butt she was destined to reply again. He was the most amazing of catches and no one can resist that charm of his. No one. Ping! He grabs his phone. "A twiggy thing?!" he ho...
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